As a great thinker and educator in ancient China, Confucius wrote many thought-provoking quotations and aphorisms that represent Confucian thinking. It is worth noting that some of Confucius’s quotes have long been used playfully by people in their lives and work.
In this article, we will discuss both Confucius’ original and playful words. With the help of this article, you can not only gain a deeper understanding of Confucianism but also practically apply Confucius quotes to real life.
Differences Between Confucius Say and Confucius Quotes
“Confucius say” represents a “Celebrity Say” phenomenon reflecting the transmission and reinterpretation of Confucian thoughts in modern culture. Many popular funny “Confucius quotes” are not genuinely attributed to Confucius but are created by people in his name, often infusing them with humor or jokes and wit in everyday conversations.
In contrast, “Confucius quotes” specifically refer to sayings and quotations authentically found in The Analects of Confucius or Confucius’s classical texts, emphasizing their original philosophical and moral teachings. Understanding the distinctions between these two can help us better comprehend how Confucian thought evolves in different cultural contexts.
50 Funny Confucius Sayings
These hilarious and funny Confucius quotes are not really from Confucius or his writings but rather from people quoting Confucius as an additional catchphrase in jokes.
These sayings typically carry a tone of irony, aiming to convey a certain idea or viewpoint through humor.
This phenomenon reflects people’s recognition of Confucian wisdom and their ability to reinterpret it in contemporary contexts, making Confucius’s image more vibrant and relatable.
Hilarious Confucius Sayings about Food:
- My favorite sport is eating, followed by lying down to rest.
- My biggest wish in life is to eat food that doesn’t make me gain weight.
- There’s nothing that a meal can’t solve; if there is, then have another meal.
- Eating is my only hobby; I don’t care about anything else.
- My only way to lose weight is to put food on my face.
- Delicious food is my spiritual nourishment; it inspires me more when I’m hungry.
- I’d rather float in the ocean of delicious food than struggle in the desert of dieting.
- I always tell myself to eat healthily, but the food in my fridge doesn’t cooperate.
- Sometimes I feel like food is mischievous, tempting me especially when I’m on a diet.
- Never argue with your food while eating, because food always wins.
- Looking handsome isn’t my fault; blame it on not eating enough salt.
- I’m not fat; I’m just full-figured.
- I have a dream: to eat something delicious every day.
- While others pursue perfection, I just want to pursue lunch.
- My life motto is: don’t fear making mistakes, fear not having snacks.
Funny Confucius Sayings about Life:
- Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re gonna get next.
- If life gives you lemons, don’t forget to add sugar and water to make lemonade.
- Tell yourself every day, ‘Today will be better,’ then go have a meal.
- I’d rather be lazy on the couch than sweat in the gym.
- The secret to success is procrastinating everything until the last minute.
- Life is too short to waste on people you don’t like.
- I have one goal: to eat at least one piece of cake every day.
- The meaning of life is to enjoy, especially enjoying food.
- When I don’t want to work, I tell myself, ‘I work to eat.’
- Life is like riding a bicycle; to keep your balance, you must keep moving.
Read More: 16 Classic Quotes that Confucius Say on Life
Funny Confucius Sayings about Self-Deprecating
- I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
- I don’t need an alarm clock; my dreams wake me up.
- I’m not lazy; I’m just in energy-saving mode.
- I put the ‘pro’ in procrastination.
- I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me to the beach.
- If you can’t laugh at yourself, make fun of other people.
- My brain has too many tabs open.
- I’m not arguing; I’m just explaining why I’m right… most of the time.
Funny Confucius Sayings about Work
- I work out, I’m just kidding; I take naps.
- Success is 1% inspiration, 99% perspiration, and 100% coffee.
- I’ve learned that if you’re going to be late for work, it’s best to bring snacks.
- The only job I want is to be paid for being me.
- I’m not working hard; I’m hardly working.
- I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a paycheck.
- Behind every successful person is a substantial amount of coffee.
- I work best under pressure; in fact, I thrive on it… right until the moment I collapse.
Funny Confucius Sayings about Love and Friendship
- Friendship is like peeing your pants; everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth.
- Love is sharing your popcorn; friendship is sharing your snacks.
- You’re the peanut butter to my jelly.
- Real friends don’t let you do stupid things alone.
- I love you more than pizza, and that’s saying a lot.
- A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg even though you’re slightly cracked.
- Love is being stupid together.
- Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one!’
- If you have crazy friends, you have everything.
4 Funny Confucius Quotes (Really Said by Confucius)
Confucius’s quotes offer unique insights into work, life, existence, and love. While some of these quotations appear humorous, they also express outstanding views on world affairs.
1. 知之者不如好之者，好之者不如乐之者。 (From The Analects of Confucius: Yongye)
Phonetic transcription: zhī zhī zhě bù rú hào zhī zhě, hào zhī zhě bù rú lè zhī zhě.
Translation: To understand is good, to enjoy is better and to delight is best.
This sentence humorously presents Confucius’s attitude toward knowledge. By classifying the pursuit of knowledge into three levels, he emphasizes its value and humorously exposes people’s different attitudes toward knowledge. This type of humor not only evokes laughter but also prompts deeper reflection.
In addition, Confucius is good at using vivid similes to show his sense of humor.
2. 学而时习之，不亦说乎？ (From The Analects of Confucius: Xue Er)
Phonetic transcription: xué ér shí xí zhī, bù yì yuè hū?
Translation: Is it not a delight, said the Master, to acquire knowledge and put it into practice?
This metaphor is vivid and amusing so that people in a relaxing and happy atmosphere can understand the true meaning of learning.
3. 今之孝者，是谓能养。至于犬马，皆能有养；不敬，何以别乎?（From The Analects of Confucius: The Way of Governance）
Phone transcription: jīn zhī xiào zhě, shì wèi néng yǎng. zhì yú quǎn mǎ, jiē néng yǒu yǎng; bù jìng, hé yǐ bié hū?
Translation: The filial piety nowadays means the support of one’s parents. But dogs and horses likewise are able to do something in the way of support; without reverence, what is there to distinguish the one support given from the other?
When discussing filial piety in The Analects of Confucius, Confucius cleverly used the metaphor of ‘dogs and horses’ to subtly satirize the behavior of those who only know how to take care of their parents superficially but do not know how to love them sincerely.
This humorous method of using animals as metaphors not only shocks people as they think filial piety has profound connotations but also subtly tickles their funny bones, revealing the unique charm of humor in Confucius’s sayings.
Additionally, Confucius once employed the metaphor of planting crops to illustrate the necessity of continuous practice and review in learning, infusing his teachings with humor.
4. 子曰：君子和而不同, 小人同而不和。(From The Analects of Confucius: Zi Lu)
Phonetic transcription: jūn zǐ hé ér bù tóng, xiǎo rén tóng ér bù hé.
Translation: The Master said, ‘The superior man is affable, but not adulatory; the mean man is adulatory, but not affable.’
This quote humorously reveals the difference between a gentleman and a villain in how they handle human relationships. While Junzi maintains independent thinking while pursuing harmony, Xiaoren lacks genuine harmony despite superficial thinking. This humorous expression expresses Confucius’s point of view about human nature.
What to do When Confucius Quotes are Jokingly Used in Modern Society?
The Analects of Confucius records the conversations and daily routines of Confucius and his disciples and every sentence is carefully considered and every story is rich in philosophy. As a classic ancient text passed down through the ages, it reflects a profound and enduring seriousness.
However, considering societal changes and the rise of the cyber world, modern people have skillfully used Confucius’s quotes for humorous effects.
How Should We Think about this Phenomenon?
First, adapting Confucius’s quotes into funny versions may be for entertainment purposes, aiming to elicit laughter and capture attention. This practice helps bridge traditional culture with modern life, exposing more people to Confucius’s ideas.
However, these adaptations may distort or dilute the quotes’ original meanings, potentially leading to misunderstandings of Confucianism.
Secondly, as pivotal elements of traditional Chinese culture, The Analects of Confucius and quotations of Confucius hold profound ideological significance and historical value. Hence, during the adaptation process, we should honor the spiritual essence of the original quotes and avoid misinterpretation or distortion.
Moreover, it’s essential to consider the audience’s cultural background and cognitive level and avoid excessively vulgar or crude comedic elements.
Finally, people should realize that traditional and modern cultures are not mutually exclusive but can be integrated and mutually beneficial. While promoting Confucian culture and the philosophy of Confucius, we can utilize modern cultural forms, such as humorous quotes, to enhance the appeal and influence of traditional culture.
However, in this process, we should maintain a sense of reverence for conventional culture and avert excessive trivialization or commercialization.
In conclusion, we should remain open-minded about joking with Confucius’s quotations, respect the traditional culture, and appreciate modern cultural innovation.
At the same time, we should also pay attention to the problems that may arise in the adaptation process to ensure that the essence of traditional culture is inherited correctly and carried forward.